Stop writing the function that guesses what messy input means

Automated excerpt

Eventually the function is four hundred lines of accumulated special cases nobody can safely modify, and it still cannot handle a sentence it has not seen. Put an HTTP endpoint in front of a real coding agent. Now the judgment calls become function calls. I never wrote a date-phrase parser and never will. The agent handles what the deterministic layer cannot, and there is a dumb fallback beneath everything.

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